When Love and Hurt Collide


If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

John 15:18

It is a well-known fact that we live in a broken world and we are not immune from hurts. So, how can we deal with hurts in our life? Have you been hurt recently?

We belong to the kingdom of God where love is everything. Love is powerful and love is mandatory.

Although the kingdom of God is all about LOVE, we live in a broken world. We live in a world full of hurts and pain. We are called to be in the world but not of the world.

This is a world where love and hurt will collide.

In fact, even Jesus said, in John 15:18, 19

18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.

19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

The world will hate you. You will get hurt at some point in your life.

But hurt can also be powerful. Hurts have brought down empires, many lives were lost, many careers destroyed, many marriages broken and many ministries have been shaken because of HURTS.

Theatre producer David King did a survey of the songs that are most likely to make men cry. In his survey, REM’s “Everybody hurts” was voted the saddest and most depressing song of all time.

Recently the singer Adele won many awards for the song “Hello” in the Brit award ceremony. Her song “Hello” broke several records. It is the fastest ever song to get 1 billion hits on YouTube. 50 million of those hits came in the first 48 hours of release and sold 800,000 copies in first week!

Do you know why? That song is all about hurts in a relationship. The lyrics goes like this:

I must have called a thousand times 

To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done

To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart

But it don’t matter. It clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore

These are words of someone who got deeply hurt in life. The world is desperate to identify themselves with someone who is hurt because everyone is hurt. That is why 50 million people rushed to the YouTube within 48 hours of its release.

I did a short research of all UK and US No.1 singles in the past 10 – 15 years. All of them were written because either someone was in LOVE or someone was HURT by a relationship.

So, how can we deal with hurts in our life? 

Look at the Bible for the answers.

Even God is not immune from hurts. It is true that God is love. But the Bible records that even God was hurt and grieved and sad.

In 1 Samuel, the people of Israel went to Samuel and said:

“You are growing too old and your sons are useless. Now give us a King.”

When Samuel was heartbroken because of this, God said to Samuel,

“They didn’t reject you. But they rejected me as a King.”

God knows the pain of broken relationship!

Israel rejected God as their King. But our God is a gentle King and he will never ever get angry. God knows the pain of rejection! Can you imagine that even God was rejected.

Some of you reading this blog are going through the terrible pain of broken relationships. You think no one can identify with that excruciating pain you are going through. But God is saying I went through that excruciating pain of broken relationship and I can identify with you.

In the book of John, Pilate brought Jesus before the people and said,

“Here is your king” and they shouted “Crucify him ! Crucify him!! We have no king but Caesar!!!”

They rejected Jesus as their king out-rightly! Yet, just few days back it was the same people who sang “Hosanna” and hailed him as King!

What a transformation! The same mouth which hailed Jesus as King is now saying “Crucify him”.

That’s the world we live in. The same mouth that proposed to you saying “You are beautiful, you are adorable… you are handsome… you are brilliant… you are cute… you are sweet. I will die for you.” will one day shout at you in anger, be rude to you, abuse you, curse you and hurt you. That’s the world we live in!

There is a tragic story in the Bible about Amnon and Tamar. Amnon, the son of David, fell in love with his half-sister and spoke softly to her and asked her to sleep with him. When she refused, he forced her to sleep with her and raped her. But soon after he raped her, the Bible says,

Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, ‘Get up and get out!’

He called his personal servant and said, ‘Get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her.’

Amnon used Tamar for his pleasure and threw her out.  This is the best picture of the world we live in. The world will use you and throw you out!

God asked Hosea, the prophet, to marry an adulteress woman to demonstrate the pain and heart break of the relationship between God and Israel. All the pain that Hosea went through in that relationship God went through.  Despite God’s unfailing love, Israel kept on committing adultery and rejecting God. God’s heart was broken. God was hurt just like you and me.

God is saying to you if the world has used you and rejected you, I know how you feel. I feel your pain.

The only thing that is more powerful than hurt is Love. If you are hurt, the best weapon to use is LOVE. If you use any other weapon you will lose.

The Bible says

“for love is strong as death” – Songs of Solomon 8:6

Love is more powerful than hurt.

So, if you are hurt what can you do? 

Don’t hold on to hurts and rejections

Isaiah 43:25 says,

“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”

God says when you hurt me, I won’t remember your hurts. I won’t hold onto your hurts and rejections. I will forgive you and move on.

God wants you to do the same to those who hurt you. Don’t hold on to yesterday’s hurts and pains. When you wake up in the morning, don’t think and mourn what your spouse said to you. Don’t hold on to hurts of past broken relationships. Just let it go.

C.S Lewis said,

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

Let it go and move forward.

Jesus said “Remember LOTS wife!!”

This is the shortest and most powerful warning in the bible. It is dangerous to hold on to your past. It is fatal. Don’t hold to your past hurts and rejection. Not even yesterday’s hurts and pain. Forgive and keep moving forward.

The bible says,

“Love keeps no record of wrongs.”

It all starts with memory. “He did that the other day…”, “She said that last year…” and then it turns to bitterness, then comes anger, then conflict and then break up! But it all starts with memory.

Don’t keep record of wrongs. Erase it, forgive, forget and move forward.

Derron Short, author of ‘Perfecting The Saints’ tweeted:

“Sometimes you’ll have to live with the apology that you never got because holding a grudge absorbs too much energy.”

Life is too short to live with hurts and pains. People in your relationships are growing old. You are growing old. Use every opportunity to show you love them.

Bible says in John 13,

“Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.”

Jesus knew his time was short and he loved them to bits. He showed his love even to Judas Iscariot. He washed his feet.

After he finished washing his feet feet, in his anguish and pain, Jesus quoted Psalms 41:9 and said,

‘Even my own familiar friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.’

He was talking about his close friend Judas Iscariot who was sitting there and was going to betray him. Isn’t it interesting its always close people who will hurt us most. It’s always the people we love the most hurt us most!

Jesus washed Judas feet as though he was saying “Judas, I don’t want to leave the world with hurts. I love you. I am ready to wash your feet. LOVE is powerful than hurt.”

While Jesus was hanging on the cross, the soldiers were gambling and putting lots to find out who was going to take their clothes. This is the typical picture of the world we live in. They were fighting for lust and power at the foot of the cross completely ignoring the Saviour of the world.

Jesus said,

“Father forgive them for they do not know what they do.”

in other words, he said “Guys I don’t want to leave this world with hurts and pain. I forgive you all. You guys don’t know what you are doing.”

People who hurt you don’t know the pain you are going through. They are completely ignorant of your pain.

T.D Jakes said:

“Often times people hurt because of their weakness and not because of wickedness. You need to understand between weakness and wickedness. You are merely a victim of their weakness. How dare you treat them as though you don’t have any weaknesses?”

People hurt you because they are weak. You are the victim of their weaknesses. They are not wicked.

Joseph could have held on to hurts and pains in that prison when his brothers sold him. But he chose to forgive them and move forward.

He said to his brothers,

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good .”

People who hurt you cannot harm you. Because even if they mean to harm you God will turn it for your good.

Every hurt comes with a secret blessing. When people hurt and you are ready to forgive them you will go to next level in life. You will surely get a promotion. You will surely get a result. You will get double portion of blessings. I am telling you, this is the truth. If you forgive when you are hurt, you will be promoted in life.

Forgiveness is the best way to go upward in life. It is a true sign of maturity.

When Joseph forgave his brothers and all the people who hurt him, God promoted him to be a prime minister. When David was discouraged by his brothers, he forgave them and moved forward where he met Goliath and killed him and then was immediately promoted in his career. When Saul was chasing David in the wilderness, David came so close to Saul when Saul was sleeping but David forgave Saul and refused to kill him. He was promoted to the King of Israel after Saul’s death.  When Job forgave his friends, and prayed for them, God healed Job and gave him double portion of blessings in everything. God restored to him everything he lost.

So, forgive and move forward. God will promote you and will give you double portion of blessings. People who hurt you cannot harm you and therefore don’t hold on to yesterday’s hurts and pain.

God is saying,

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”

He is making all things new. Now you decide to make a new beginning today. Some of you reading this blog are holding on to hurts and pains of past relationships for several years. Its time to forgive, forget and make a new beginning. Your past cannot hinder your progress. Your past cannot steal your present and your future.

Cut off your past, Cut off your hurts and pains and make a new beginning today.

This message is published with the permission from Davidson Samuel, who is working as a Subject Matter Expert in a leading bank in Scotland, United Kingdom. He is the founder of Absolute Surrender Ministry, UK

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